Death By Aperitif

This was a brunch cocktail I threw together for the spring/summer menu for my old job at Royal Boucherie. I was actually quite proud of this at the time. That particular restaurant cited the cocktail's creator on their menu, and it was great saying, "That's my drink," when people would come in and order it. And it's great to see your name in print.

0.5 oz. London Dry Gin, Tanqueray

1 oz. Aperol

0.5 oz. Lillet Blanc

0.125 oz Absinthe (about 1 barspoon)

2.5 oz Sparkling Wine, Prosecco if available

Add all the ingredients aside from the sparkling wine to a mixing vessel. Fill a small wine glass with ice and add the sparkling wine. Dump the rest of the cocktail over the top and garnish with an orange twist. 

The cocktail combines a Death in the Afternoon and an Aperol Spritz with a little dash of French 75. Both utilize sparkling wine and are delicious midday cocktails. The herbaceous character of the liqueurs and fortified wine compliments the botanical nature of classic gin. The sweetness is light but present. This might differ from that traditional bottomless style cocktail people are used to with brunch, but a slow burn works with many brunch dishes. 

The Yellow Blur

This was an interesting little cocktail I created. Technically it's the first cocktail I've ever made that actually won a competition. At a guild luncheon that was hosted by Ruffino Prosecco, they decided to pit us in something of an Iron Bartender Competition. They divided us guild members up into 5 teams and told us to make 2 cocktails per team, one on the rocks, and the other served up. We were given free reign of the bar at Stratus Lounge. Many teams tried to come up with a game plan, but our team took a totally different approach, a more playful one. We all just hopped behind the bar and started making drinks. I started with a sort of orange French 75. It was a good drink but a bit boring. My friend Dan was working on a sort of strawberry smash. As the five of us were playing around we would taste each other's drinks and give feedback. In the end, Dan turned his into our up cocktail and I switched mine to a collins style drink with a little chartreuse zing. 

3/4 oz. Bombay Sapphire

1/2 oz. Yellow Chartreuse

1/2 oz. Cointreau

1/2 a Peeled Orange

1/4 oz. Simple Syrup

Ruffino Prosecco

Peel an orange and tear away about half the slices. Add the slices and all the ingredients except the prosecco to a mixing tin with ice. Shake very vigorously to break up the orange. Strain into a collins glass filled with ice. Top with prosecco and garnish with a lemon wedge.

This cocktail took quite a bit of ingenuity. Toward the end of the time limit, all the tools seemed to disappear. I had been fresh squeezing juice from halves of oranges for all of my experiments but when the clock was ticking I couldn't find a juicer, or a knife for that matter. I just said, "I'm doing this like in grade school." I used my thumbnail and peeled off the skin, tore off half the orange and chucked it into a tin. The ice they had at Stratus was good and dense so I knew it would do the job pulverizing and juicing the orange. I originally planned to double strain this to make for a clean presentation, but they were counting down the seconds as I wrapped up and a mesh strainer was nowhere to be found. I wound up just using a Hawthorne strainer which filtered the big chunks of pulp but left a few bits. This actually made the drink a lot more fun. I made it again later by double straining and I don't think it was as good. The pulp added a feel of scratch made lemonade and I think made the drink feel lower proof and more drinkable. The pulp floating around the drink in the bubbles is actually partly what inspired the name of this drink. Though the name takes an indirect reference to a Ron White bit. 

"Tiny bubbles. In the wine. Make me feel happy. Ah, they make me feel fine."
- Don Ho

Photos by Bry Guy of dumbartender

Wine Keys and Openers

Pull Corkscrew

This is the oldest style of wine bottle opener around. The style of it makes it look like it was some type of woodworking equipment. In short, you press the point in, screw the handle until it is deep enough. Grip the handle firmly and yank the cork out. The original design is of course very risky to use as it requires a very firm grip on the neck and shoulder of the bottle to be able to physically yank the cork out. These are the kind of screw you find Many times when an amateur tries to use this type of corkscrew they will drop the bottle and make all kinds of mess, especially if it's a bottle of white wine that's been chilled and has condensation on it. Some modifications were made over the years. Springs and levers and more form-fitting grips have helped, but they still tended to rely on physical strength to yank the cork out

Waiter's Wine Key

Give me a lever and a fulcrum and I can move the earth. Just about anyone who has worked in the service industry has used one of these at some point. They start as a sort of swiss army knife of handy bits. There's a blade for removing the foil around the cork. There is, of course, the metal helix on a hinge that screws in. What gives this little tool the nickname Waiter's Friend is not just the portability of the tool, it's that little extra piece of hinged metal which just makes the job so much easier. Once the metal helix is screwed in, you tilt the handle and bend down that metal plate so it presses against the top of the rim of the bottle. Carefully holding all parts in place, raise the open side of the handle levering out the cork. It takes so little effort compared to trying to pull it straight out.  It does take a little getting used to. You need to figure out just how deep to screw it in so that when you pull, the entire cork comes out. Some newer keys have a two-tiered metal plate. This allows the key to pull the cork part way out, and then finish the job with the whole length of the plate. 

Butterfly / Wing Corkscrew

These are the most common wine openers I find in your average home. This is a very novel modification to the standard cork pull. they simply took the standard corkscrew that had a brace on it and added some levers attached to gears so that it pries itself out rather than having to be yanked out. It maximizes efficiency and cuts the amount of force needed in half. simply position the screw at the top of the cork and twist the knob. If you have a firm grip on the base of the corkscrew and the bottle then it should screw in with very little resistance. As you screw the winged levers will raise. When you reach a sufficient depth firmly grasp the levers and press down. the cork will be forced out without much strain. Often times the twisting knob serves a second function of a beer bottle opener.

Rabbit Opener
This is a sexy piece of bar equipment. The advantage of this model is that it twists itself into the cork as you raise the handle. So all you have to do is grip the two ears, lift the lever up, and then pull it back down. When this works, they seem like the smoothest bottle opener I've ever worked with. But these are far more form over function I find. They are sexy and can impress your house guests, but sometimes they just don't work. The worm will slide in but then slide ride out without pulling the cork with it. I find the expense and bulk of this item to be impractical for a bartender though they do look pretty at home

Electric Wine Bottle Opener
I'm seeing more and more of these on the market today. Yet I don't see enough of them used in bars or even households. I think there's always been a certain charm to seeing a bottle opened by hand. While as an employee I like expediency in my work, as a guest I like the little ritual. They operate very much on the same system of the rabbit opener but use a battery to spin and pull the worm helix. Oddly enough, these tend to be cheaper than the rabbit openers. Yet, there's no lifting, twisting or squeezing necessary. I find these work very well for home use. The average battery would not be sustainable for a busy wine bar environment, only being able to open five bottles a day. I like these though, most brands work well and look very sexy sitting on the counter with the other appliances.

Coravin Wine System

These are a fairly new addition to the wine game. They use a small needle inserted through the cork of the wine bottle and a CO2 cartridge or draft pressure system to pressurize the wine bottle and force the wine through the needle. This is great for restaurants that don't want to open a bottle of wine which might not sell and could potentially spoil within days. It's also great for liquor reps. You draw out your glass or sample, remove the needle and the bottle remains sealed and preserved. For a regular consumer who doesn't need to worry about having an open bottle of wine sitting around the house for too long, this is not a necessity. 

"Wine is bottled poetry."
- Robert Louis Stevenson

Photo Credit: Pixabay, wikimedia

#015 Beedrill

This is a part of an ongoing project I'm working on to make a Pokemon cocktails for each and every Pokemon. I'm starting with just generation one and we'll see how the response is. 151 drinks is a tall order, but people have done crazier things. If I succeed I will most likely publish an eBook or possibly hard copy collections of each drink. Give them a try and let me know what you think. 

1 1/2 oz. Pepper Infused Tequila

1/2 oz. Blood Orange Liqueur

1 oz. Honey Syrup
1 oz. Lemon Juice
Top Sparkling Wine

Add all the ingredients except the bubbly to a mixing tin. Shake well with ice. Double strain into a tulip glass with ice. Top with bubbly. Garnish with two spears of serrano pepper. 

To make a pepper-infused tequila simply fill a small mason jar with whatever type of peppers you'd like. Make sure you cut it up to about 1/2" pieces to increase the surface area. Personally, I'm a fan of serrano pepper for this cocktail. Many people may prefer to use a Jalapeno or Habanero pepper, but I find that serrano offers a very balanced flavor and heat for this drink. If you don't want too much spice to dominate the drink I recommend seeding the peppers first. Pour tequila over the peppers, seal the jar and give it a little shake. I like a Reposado tequila here. The slight smokiness brings out the pepper flavors, but an Anejo could work as well. I find that about 6 hours is enough to get a full pepper flavor without it becoming too potent. For seeded Jalapenos and Habaneros, less time may be prudent.

This drink again takes a lot of inspiration from the margarita. A common variation I've seen in chain restaurants these days is a champagne margarita with a little split of sparkling wine stuck into the drink just like the Coronarita. Beedrill is a bee, so for a sweetener, honey was the obvious choice. It also has a potent poisonous sting that can supposedly kill, so I wanted a little more spice in this one. I find that blood orange plays a bit better with spice that Cointreau or another triple sec. Add a little lemon juice and bubbly and you have yourself a great drink to sip on out on the patio on a hot spring day. 

"Beedrill. This Pokémon is an evolved form of Weedle, following its Kakuna stage. Its sting is highly poisonous."

Pidgey -->

<-- Kakuna

Recommended Brands: Milagro Reposado, Solerno, wildflower honey, fresh lemon juice, Comte de Bucques Brut

April Fools: Weird Joke Shots

These shots are not meant to be taken by you, okay. They are meant to be served to your stupid friends. That said, everybody has their own tastes. Once in a while you may just get a taste for a whole raw egg in your drink.

Cement Mixer
1 shot Bailey's, 1 shot rose's lime juice

Pour the shots into two separate glasses

This shot is like a baking soda vinegar volcano from grade school, except in your mouth. The cream base of baileys reacts poorly to the citrus of the lime juice. The way you drink this shot is to drink one shot but hold it in your mouth and then take the second shot. You swish the two together in your mouth. As they mix, they curdle. It turns chunky in your mouth and tastes of spoiled milk. Most people will just spit this right out if they're not sure what to expect. 

Prairie Oyster
1 1/2 oz bourbon, 1 egg, 1 dash Tobasco

Pour the bourbon into a rocks glass without ice. Crack the egg into the glass. Add a dash or two of Tabasco. Sprinkle a little salt and pepper for good measure.

This is a pretty weird one. There are many variants to this as well. Some don't use and liquor and others add Worcestershire sauce. A prairie oyster was slang for a fried bull testicle. This still exists on some menus as an appetizer. Raw egg bothers some people, others are fine with it. Many people will actually take this shot as a hangover cure.

Soy Sauce

1 part Jagermeister, 1 part Everclear or devils springs 

Swirl the ingredients in a tin with ice, strain into a shot or rocks glass. Or serve it in a novelty syringe

This was created by a dear friend of mine Shane. This really is not a shot for the faint of heart. It is crazy high proof and if you don't like Jager, you're screwed. Shane made this as a combination of two of his favorite things and we named it out of a reference to one of his and now my favorite books, John Dies at the End. In JDatE, there is a drug called the sauce. whose effects aren't entirely known, but whose side effects are quite interesting. It be opening doors to another world, man. This was a few friends' first drink at lousy parties. They'd take this and it would kill their taste buds so they could down jungle juice and cheap beer all night. Oh, please drink responsibly.

The Sourtoe Cocktail

1 large shot of anything, garnish with a toe

Pour the shot, throw in the toe

Drink it fast, drink it slow, but the lips have to touch the toe. This started in a little hotel bar in Alaska. It started as a variant of serving an oyster in champagne, only instead of an oyster, it was a severed human toe that was dehydrated in salt. These days it is no longer served in a beer mug full of champagne. It's served in a shot glass with whatever liquor you'd like. Good luck finding a severed human toe at your neighborhood bar though. 

Special mention to: The Ogre Killer, The New Jersey Turnpike, Smoker's Cough, The Cheese Shot, Tidal Wave, Motor Oil

Photo Credit: Wikimedia, Food Facts

Sparkling wine cocktails

Sparkling wine has been used in cocktails for well over 150 years. The first reference I know of comes from 1862 in the Bon Vivant's Companion. Though sparkling wines are nearly 500 years old, possibly older if you account for the Chinese, they weren't really mixed. Bubbles were and are a sign of freshness and quality. They still are in many countries, especially in Europe. Flat water really doesn't exist for consumption. Everything is bubbly, even the apple juice. Bubbles mean it's clean and healthy. Healthy doesn't mean it's no fun though.

Champagne Cocktail
Sugar cube, bitters, champagne

Place a sugar cube on a cocktail napkin. Soak the cube in bitters until it is fully colored and is spilling over onto the napkin. Place the soaked cube in a champagne flute and fill with Champagne. Garnish with a lemon twist

The champagne cocktail is, of course, following in the tradition of what a cocktail originally was. The original whiskey cocktail was just whiskey, sugar, and bitters. It has since been dubbed the Old Fashioned. But there were a number of cocktails: the brandy cocktail, gin cocktail, and our Champagne cocktail. Fortunately, this cocktail has held the test of time. This cocktail can be made with simple syrup and a few dashes of bitters, but it's not that elegant a presentation. With a nice course cube sitting at the bottom of a cocktail you get the bubbles flowing forth from every bump. The original is also said to include 1/3 oz. of brandy.

French 75
1oz Gin, 1/2oz Simple Syrup, 1/2oz Lemon, 3oz Champagne

Add the first three ingredients to a shaker with ice. Shake until well chilled and strain into a champagne glass. Fill with the remaining champagne. Garnish with a lemon twist.

This drink is named after the famous artillery piece. The cannon was called by some the first piece of modern artillery. It was invented at the end of the 19th century and could fire 15 rounds a minute up to five miles away. The drink was created in 1915 in Paris by the great Harry MacElhone. The drink was said to have such a kick it felt like you'd been hit by a shell from the cannon. Some people equate this to a scaled Tom Collins with the soda substituted for sparkling wine, typically champagne. I find that is a pretty apt description though these days many people use smaller proportions for the first three ingredients allowing the wine to shine through a bit more rather than the lemon and sugar. 

Mimosa
2 1/2 Orange Juice, 2 1/2 Sparkling Wine

Both ingredients should be kept chilled during storage. Simply mix equal parts orange juice and sparkling wine into a champagne flute and serve. Garnish with an optional quarter slice of orange or a strawberry. 

This has become the quintessential brunch drink. Sparkling wine and citrus play very nicely together. orange juice has simply been jazzed up a bit. do be sure not to use a very pulpy orange juice as that can create a very off texture for your guests. This drink is naturally not too strong; it's effectively a half glass of wine. Some people stiffen it up a bit by adding a half show of Cointreau which doesn't dramatically change the flavor but certainly adds a bit more kick. A more common variation is known as the Grand Mimosa. This is a mimosa with a half ounce of Grand Marnier floated on top. The orange flavors go well together, and the french made cognac in the Grand Marnier pairs with a french made sparkling wine, namely Champagne. 

Aperol  Spritz
3 oz. Prosecco, 1 oz. Soda, 1 oz. Aperol

Fill a white wine glass about 3/4 full with ice. Add the ingredients and throw in a slice or two of orange for good measure. 

This is a fun little number and an amazing summertime drink. It's similar to a sparkling sangria with a light bitter note. This is actually one of the only standard recipes I know that uses ice in a wine glass or with wine at all for that matter. This drink can be made with many other liqueurs in place of Aperol, such as St Germain, Hum, Midori, or even an amaretto. I find that Aperol has a light enough flavor to not dominate the drink and let the wine shine just enough. It also has a beautiful color and the orange note just makes it so much more summer.

Special mention to: Kir Royale, Bellini, Death in the Afternoon

Photo Credit: Pikrepo, Wikimedia, pixabay

Glassware: Wine Glasses

This is my first installment in a series I'll be doing on different glassware and their functionality. Not only do different glasses naturally have their unique visual appeal but it's important that people know why these glasses have their shape so when people start creating their own drinks and cocktails they know the best vessel to keep the integrity of the drink intact or at least can understand how the drink might change due to the nature of the glass. 

White wine glasses are the staple that you will find in most restaurants and homes. These are the icons. They are the most common, arguably the most versatile, and best known. These glasses have a slight bowl shape but are generally more straight than a red wine glass. White wine glasses are generally more about the visual appeal of the wine rather than, say, aroma. The slightly straighter walls also seem to help with the wine's "legs" or "tears". When a wine is swirled around a glass some of it clings to the walls of the glass even after the majority of the liquid has settled. The liquid bunches up like beads of sweat and drips down. With practice, by observing these lines you can get an impression of the alcohol and sugar content of the wine before it even touches your lips. 

A red wine glass has a wider body more for the way that it is exposed to the air. The large bowl shape resembles that of a brandy snifter. This allows the wine to breathe or oxidize. You've probably seen wine decanters with an incredibly wide base. The air actually changes the flavor of the wine. If you've ever done a wine tasting or dealt with a wine enthusiast you've probably tasted a glass or wine and then been made to wait a half hour while it breathes and note the differences. Another note about the shape of red wine glasses is the sharp beveling in at the rim of the glass. This is to trap the aroma. an open or flared lip would allow all the aroma to escape out, which can be helpful with stronger alcohols. the inward bowl makes it much easier to smell the wine. White wine being chilled places much less emphasis on aroma.

The champagne coupe has a very long history and these days the style of glass is used for a number of cocktails, often in place of a martini glass. There's a very humorous story of the original shape of the coupe being modeled after Marie Antoinette's breast. This was disproved by some researcher with a bit too much time who estimated that Marie was a large C cup, and a coupe is not a large C. Some said it was Madame de Pompadour. The glass most likely originated in the mid 17th century a century before these women were born, though they were avid champagne drinkers. Aristocracy and royalty were obsessed with champagne; it's fabulous for parties. The glass is ideal for stacking so one can make a champagne tower. 

The champagne flute is very traditional for when you are sipping champagne. The wider bodied coupe was sort of designed to cause the champagne to go flat. Bubbles form on the bottom of a glass. The wider the glass the more bubbles are released. Champagne in a coupe will go flat faster than it would in a flute. Coupes were partly popular at parties because they reduced the amount of belching from the carbonation. These days flutes have really become the norm due to the most consistent nature of the drink as you drink it and the beautiful visual effect of bubbles rising through the tall glass. 

Stemless wine glasses have been on the rise over the last few years. Stems are ideal for keeping wine at the desired temperature. Aside from most red wines, Wine is served chilled and should stay chilled as long as possible. If you're wrapping your warm, meaty hands around the bowl of the glass it's going to heat up a lot more than if you hold it by the stem. It really is a fashion choice, however. The correct way to drink is in whatever way makes you happiest.

"Whenever I get a bottle of wine, I open it up and let it breathe. If it's not breathing I give it mouth to mouth."

Photo Credit: Pxfuel