Friday, November 28, 2014

Ogre Killer

The name was inspired by the anime Yu Yu Hakusho. The character Chu, who practices suiken or drunken boxing, has a secret weapon. He pulls out a flask of what is called ogre killer, the strongest booze in Demon World. He chugs it down, and his skin changes color and he takes a fighting stance, not before immediately vomiting of course. The fight ends with a fabulous knife edge death match, where both fighters stand face to face with their back foot against a blade. They wail on each other in the manliest fashion continuously pressing the others foot into the blade. To any man who has ever enjoyed a fight, even when you lost, try this drink. It gives you very much the same feeling. 

1 oz. Everclear (190 proof)
1/2 oz. Joven Mezcal
1/2 oz. Scotch

Add all the ingredients to a rocks glass. Add ice. Stir with a knife. Leave the knife in to make it authentic. For this picture, I actually left the knife in the ice block mold as it froze. This was to make it more reminiscent of the show

Let's do the math on this drink.
(1oz * 190 proof) + (1/2oz * 80 proof) + (1/2oz * 80 proof) 
= 2oz of 135 proof
This drink is 68% alcohol before ice melt. It is the equivalent of 3.375 shots of 80 proof spirit. Do be careful in the partaking of beverage. It's one and done.

This drink was designed as a challenge for a friend of mine who claimed to have never gotten properly drunk no matter how much he drank. I made him one of these and he was drunk. I've had friends drink this and scream "That should not be legal!" The fun thing is that it isn't in many states. 190 proof Everclear is not for sale in 14 states: California, Florida, Hawaii, Iowa, Maine, Michigan, Maryland, Minnesota, Nevada, New Hampshire, North Carolina, Ohio, Virginia, and Washington. I could have certainly made a stronger drink, but I wanted something that had a little flavor to it. The pain of Everclear had to be there, but you can still enjoy it. As someone who once dated a dominatrix can tell you, a bit of pain is just part of the fun. 

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Old Timey Honky Tonk

I made this drink for a showcase for Patron. They were unveiling their new line of Roca Patron and wanted some craft cocktails made with it. It was my first actual in person competition (not that they wanted to call it a competition). It was an amazing experience and I made some amazing friends. I drank a lot of tequila and I learned a lot about it too, A many thanks again to Patron, and congrats to my friend Nate for winning the trip to Mexico. Check out the video of me on stage.

1 1/2 oz. Roca Patron Añejo
1/2 oz. Mezcal
1/4 oz. Grand Marnier
1/4 oz. Strawberry Serrano Infused Agave Syrup
2 Dashes Angostura Orange Bitters
Cherry Wood Chips

Put the wood chips into a smoking gun. Fill a rocks glass with ice. Light the chips and turn on the gun. Fill the glass with the smoke and seal with saran wrap. While that sits prepare the cocktail in a separate vessel. Add all the liquid ingredients and stir with ice. Remove the saran wrap and strain the drink into the smoked glass. Garnish with a flamed orange twist. 

Feel free to try this without the mescal and simply add more tequila. Only try instead of just smoking the ice, smoke the whole cocktail. Fill a container (I like using an empty Crystal Head Vodka bottle) with smoke and pour the cocktail into it. Seal the container and give it a bit of a swirl to get all the smoke into the drink. Then serve to the guest in a pleasing glass. 

This was a spin on the Old Fashioned. I knew I wanted to really bring out the earthy smokey nature. I thought a bit of pepper would help and I didn't think jalapeno would really earn me any points for originality. I also through in a little sweetness with the GM and the strawberry. In hindsight, I might have improved the garnish. A friend showed me a trick. Take a thin slice of orange and dredge one side in coarse sugar and take a blow torch to it to Brulee the sugar creating a truly amazing aroma. 

The Girl with Honey in her Hair

This was a drink I made for a competition for Bärenjäger. I named it after the great song featured in numerous scenes in Game of Thrones, The Bear and the Maiden Fair. Bärenjäger is a German honey liqueur that translates to be "Bear Hunter". The recipe itself is a modified Jack Rose with a honey foam on top to garnish. 

1 1/4 oz. Applejack 
3/4 oz. Bärenjäger 
3/4 oz. Lemon Juice 
1/2 oz. Fresh grenadine 

Shake and Strain into a Sours glass. Garnish with a Honey Foam 

Honey Foam Recipe: 
10 oz. Heavy cream, 3 oz. Bärenjäger, 2 eggs, dash lemon juice 
Whisk the eggs, Bärenjäger, and lemon juice. Start incorporating the cream while mixing. Pour into an Isi whipper and charge with NO2. Shake well and chill in the fridge for a few hours. Feel free to modify ratios to fit your own palate 

I had been playing with good flavors for foams and whipped creams, and honey liqueur just felt natural. I took a honey-based recipe from ISI's website and just switched out the runny honey with Bärenjäger. It also pairs well with a number of desserts and warm drinks. 

Monday, November 24, 2014

Rum 301: Let's try some Rum Cocktails!

Hopefully, by now you have a decent grasp of what rum is and how it's made. Rum has been an amazing asset to the drinking man's lifestyle since long before prohibition, and, of course, throughout and afterward. Any rum drinker ought to know some of the classic historical rum drinks that inspired so many drinks of today.


2 oz. Rum, 3/4 oz. Lime Juice, 3/4 oz. Simple Syrup
Shake all the ingredients in a mixing tin with ice. Strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with a lime wheel.
The Daiquiri takes its name from the Cuban mining town of Daiquiri. It was simply created with the three most abundant ingredients they had on hand, limes, sugar, and rum. The daiquiri is simple, and that's what makes it so beautiful. Over the years, bartenders and hobbyists have invented an amazing array of daiquiri recipes including berries, lemons, mangoes, and other flavors. In many supermarkets, you can even find strawberry daiquiri mix (which is essentially just strawberry puree with a bunch of other sugars and chemicals). Start with a simple canvas, and then play and add your own colors.

2 oz. Cachaça, 4 Lime Wedges, 3 Spoons of Sugar
Slice a lime along the equator cleanly in half. Take a half and slice that into quarters. Add the sugar and the cut pieces of lime to a glass and give it a firm muddle. The juice and sugar should start to form a slight syrup. Add cracked ice and Cachaça to the glass and give a nice stir. 
In terms of flavor, this drink is nearly identical to the daiquiri. The three ingredients are nearly identical: water, sugar, lime, and of course rum, at least each region's styles of rum. You'll probably find that this drink is much sweeter, and yet at the same time a little harsher. Because the Daiquiri is shaken it feels a bit lighter and airier. This drink also uses the whole lime, skin and all, as well as the pith which creates a new flavor altogether. Again, many bartenders have played with this drink, adding other flavors to give their bars a sense of fun and uniqueness. 

Cuba Libre

1 oz. Gold Rum, 2 oz. Cola, Lime wedge
In a highball glass filled with ice, simply add one part rum and then fill with 2 parts cola. Garnish with a lime wedge. 
As Tom Cruise said, "You bitch, why didn't you tell me it was a rum and coke." This drink is so common in popular culture, people sometimes don't bother to learn the history behind the drink. Translated it means "Free Cuba". Many people throw this drink back to the story of Teddy Roosevelt. During the Spanish-American war, Cuba was a battlefield. The Americans and Cubans worked together to defeat the Spaniards and get Cuba's independence. The merging of American cola and Cuban rum (Bacardi at the time) lead to the Cuba Libre. Also, if you'd like the reference, coca-cola in those times still had cocaine. There are a few plot holes in this story in the Coke wasn't exported into Cuba until a decade after the Cuban liberation, but it's not impossible to believe that American soldiers brought Coke with them. 

2 oz. Light Rum, Sugar, 3 Lime Wedges, 3-5 Mint Sprigs, Soda
Add three bar spoons of sugar to the glass. Then add 3-5 mint leaves and the lime wedges on top of the sprigs. Muddle the contents applying pressure to release the oils of the mint. Add 2 oz. of light rum and fill with ice. Stir the drink, top with soda, and garnish with a mint stalk. 
The mojito has had an odd rise to popularity. For some time, it was regarded as a fairly posh, or even gay drink. It requires fresh ingredients and has a light crisp fruity note to it. The origins of this drink might actually date back to the 1500s in Havana Cuba. You'll note that a great many rum drinks originate in Cuba. In the ocean and sea around central America, disease and scurvy were very common. Limes were used to fight scurvy, and rum was used to fight a number of other conditions. Add some sweetness and a bit of mint and bubbles, throw it on ice and you have yourself a Mojito.

Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.
- Ambrose Bierce

Photo Credit: Needpix, Wikimedia

Monday, November 17, 2014

Whiskey 301: Let's try some Whiskey Cocktails!

Now that we have a foundation of what whiskey is, how it's made, and how to appreciate it, it's time to use it. Whiskey is a key tool in any bartender's arsenal. These drinks are designed to showcase the whiskey so don't skimp too much. Bourbon is the staple for each of these, but you can use almost any North American whiskey for these.

Old Fashioned:

2 oz. Whiskey, 1 Sugar Cube, Angostura Bitters, Orange Twist
Soak the sugar cube in bitters. Place the cube in a rocks glass and muddle it with a little water or club soda. Add ice to the glass and then add some whiskey, typically bourbon. Stir lightly and garnish it all with an orange peel.
Where better to start drinking cocktails than with a classic that remains great to this day? Also known as the old fashioned whiskey cocktail. This drink dates back a very long time. Most likely, the origins of this drink go back to the 1700's. All a cocktail was historically was a spirit with sugar and bitters. The old fashioned holds true to this and just throws a little garnish in there. The garnish of an old fashioned is very up to debate. An orange slice, orange peel, lemon peel, a cherry, or a combination thereof are all commonly used.

2 oz. Whiskey, 1 oz. Sweet Vermouth, 2 Dashes Bitters, Cherry
In a mixing glass add all the ingredients. Add ice and stir the drink until it is well chilled. Strain the drink into a chilled cocktail glass and garnish with a cherry.
The Manhattan is a more modern retelling of what the old fashioned was. Instead of using regular sugar, however, one uses sweet vermouth. The origins are a bit shady and there are many myths behind it, many of them were disproved. This was invented in the late 1800's or the early 1900's. Thus, the original recipe is a bit hazy as well. These days craft bartenders make their Manhattans with a ratio of 2:1:2. Possibly coincidentally, 212 is the area code of Manhattan, New York. 

Mint Julep:
2 ½ oz. Bourbon, 1 oz. Simple Syrup, 2-4 Mint Sprigs
Lightly muddle 5 or 6 mint leaves with the simple syrup in a julep cup. Add about an ounce of bourbon to the cup and then fill with crushed ice. lightly stir the drink and add the remaining bourbon and a bit more ice for presentation. Stir again and garnish with a sprig of mint. 
The Mint Julep is actually the Mint Sling. First recorded in 1793, the original recipe did call for cognac rather than bourbon. This is one of the staple drinks of the Kentucky Derby. The immense cold of this drink and the nice sweet notes of the sugar, as well as the oils of the mint, create an amazing refreshing beverage for a hot day that doesn't skimp on the whiskey.

Whiskey Sour:

1 ½ oz. whiskey, ¾ oz. simple syrup, ¾ oz. lemon juice,
Shake all the ingredients with ice in a shaker and strain either into a rocks glass with ice or a sours glass. Garnish with an orange slice and a cherry
The whiskey sour came about between 1850 and 1860. This is a playground for bartenders. Try it with a little orange juice for a Stone Sour. Float some red wine on top for a New York Sour. Change the glass and add a little soda on top and you get a John Collins. Different places will change the ratio of whiskey to sour mix. 

Special mention to: the Highball, John Collins, Jack and Coke, and Sazerac

"Give an Irishman lager for a month and he's a dead man. An Irishman's stomach is lined with copper, and the beer corrodes it. But whiskey polishes the copper and is the saving of him." 
-Mark Twain

Photo Credit: Wikimedia

Beginner's Flight: Tequila

This is going to be a series of posts about how to start sampling different types of spirits if you are a beginner drinker. What's the difference between bourbon, scotch, and Irish whiskey. How is London dry gin different from American or Indian made gin? The best way to figure out what you like is to go out and try things. With so many options out there I thought it would be nice to give newbies a jumping-off point into their world of spirits. Today, I'm talking Tequila. 

Tequila is actually a much bigger category than people give it credit. People are used to going out and seeing a bottle of Jose Cuervo and Patron on the shelf and that's it. There's a world beyond just those two. Patron has 9 different tequilas and a number of liqueurs as well. Jose has at least 6 varieties of tequila. Tequilas are aged and flavored and produced in a number of different styles.
1. Casa Noble Blanco. 
This is a personal favorite of many bartenders I know. You could certainly find a cheaper Blanco tequila, but I believe in paying credit where credit is due. This was introduced to me by a dear friend, Luciano. A lovely sweet note to this tequila comes through, it isn't harsh from the alcohol or smokey from any aging. It comes across as very pure. I see it as a fine standard of what a Blanco tequila ought to be. That being said, aged tequila ought to be held in high esteem too.

2. Cabo Wabo Reposado. 
The reposado classification of tequila has always been an interesting middle ground. Anejo tequila has an aged nature and character to it, it feels mature, not so sweet and light. Reposado tequila is just rested. So it has a bit of complexity from a light nap in oak barrels but still is accessible to someone who likes the sweeter side. This allows reposado tequila to be a bit more versatile and I do see it a lot in a number of cocktail menus in order to try to appeal to anyone. Some would say jack of all trades master of none, but as anyone who has played a tabletop RPG knows, you sometimes need a jack of all trades.

3. Patron Roca Anejo. 
There are many great aged tequilas out there. I chose the Patron Roca because it certainly does showcase an old-world technique and a fantastic aged quality. It is aged about 14 months in old bourbon barrels. It gains a rich earthy tone from the oak as well as the typical flavors of some vanilla and caramel. The longer aging leads to a delightful oak spice that really appeals to me as a whiskey drinker. Try this in an old fashioned. Seriously, it holds up.

4. Monte Alban Mezcal. 

This is technically not tequila, it is mescal though. All tequila is mezcal, it is simply made in the tequila regions of Mexico. Mescals tend to much more earthy. They feel smokier, perhaps less filtered than what most people are used to in tequila. Also, I can't talk about tequila without talking about the worm. Yes, there is a worm in this bottle. It's a tradition. It's a sign of quality from back when you would check the proof of a spirit by dropping a worm (technically a moth larvae) into the bottle and make sure it died. If your spirit was too weak the worm would still be wriggling when it hit the bottom of the bottle. Now go on, drink it.

5? Jose Cuervo Gold. 
Normally I stick to a 4 brand list here with a few special mentions. I think Jose gets such special mention it warrants a taste from a rookie so that they know it's not like any other tequila. It's a mixto tequila so it's only 51% tequila and it's a gold tequila so it's got other flavorings thrown in too. you can smell the difference. One should learn the full spectrum of tequila on the market. If you enjoy this, that's fine. I'll never tell a guest they're wrong to like something. But a clear comparison can be made.

special mention to: Patron Burdeos, Avion, Sauza,

"A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink."
- W. C. Fields

Photo Credit: Wikimedia, 

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Beginner's Flight: Gin

This is going to be a series of posts about how to start sampling different types of spirits if you are a beginner drinker. What's the difference between bourbon, scotch, and Irish whiskey. How is London dry gin different from American or Indian made gin? The best way to figure out what you like is to go out and try things. With so many options out there I thought it would be nice to give newbies a jumping-off point into their world of spirits. I'm trying to find bottles that are available at nearly every liquor store or can be tracked down easily enough. Today, I'm talking about gin. 

To a novice drinker, they might think that all gins are the same, but when you think about it gins are as diverse as flavors of vodka. Any martini drinker will tell you their favorite gin. And they do have a favorite, due to its specific flavor profile and mouthfeel. Different gins from different regions tend to be flavored with different styles of botanicals.

1. Tanqueray.

Tanqueray is one of the oldest gins in production today. It's been around 180 years. It is one of the most juniper prevalent gins on the market today with less than a handful of other flavoring agents. This is very much a pure form of what gin's history was. The juniper does come through in a big way which many purists love.

2. Bluecoat. 
Bluecoat is an American made gin. It's made right in Philadelphia with their local waters. I suppose that's not the best selling point but people like supporting local products. Many beginning gin drinkers like this gin because it has a very strong citrus note. The new flavor of juniper isn't very appealing to a lot of the younger crowd, but the citrus from the lemongrass is a bit more accessible.

3. Bombay Sapphire East. 
Bombay does a large range of gins. Bombay Sapphire East is actually inspired by old Indian recipes with a bit more of a spice to it than the more botanical London Dry Gins. This uses peppercorns to add flavor. It pairs very nicely with some Fevertree Indian Tonic Water. This makes for a very fun tool to use in some new and classic cocktails.

4. Hendrick's.

Hendrick's gin is actually Scottish made. This gin actually uses some unconventional flavoring agents. It has strong notes of cucumber. This is a very playful gin that does kind of break the mold a bit as to what people are used to and has thus become a favorite ingredient for bartenders across the globe. The Hendricks Negroni is a real fan favorite. Some do prefer a more floral or fruity gin, but Hendrick's is certainly worth giving a shot.

Special mentions to: Beefeater, Aviation, Plymouth

"I like to have a Martini, two at the very most; three, I'm under the table, four I'm under my host!"
- Dorothy Parker

Photo Credit: Wikimedia, pikrepo

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

A Robot Behind the Bar

For a while now I've heard people saying that bartenders are getting too pretentious or that they just pour booze into a cup. For some bartenders that might be true. Working at the service bar some of us do turn into robots. A ticket comes in, it is made and sent out to a table. There is no real customer interaction and that is really what makes a world-class bartender. Though not all people want a conversation or a show with their drink. In this day of instant and Keurig coffee, why not apply the same appeal to alcohol.

The first actual robot bartender I heard about was the Cocktails for you. This was a fairly simple robot featured on the BBC show Gadget Man in 2012 with Stephen Fry. Jeremy Clarkson commented that the spinning bottles and glowing blue lights made it seem very gadgety. Originally costing about $7,500, holding ten bottles, with a touch screen display, it was quite impressive for its time.

The Monsieur gained a tremendous amount of publicity on Kickstarter and raised over $40,000 beyond its original $100,000 goal. You can check it out here or at their original Kickstarter page here. Costing around $4000 per unit, they say it is ideal for businesses, nightclubs, and of course home use. As a bartender/mixologist myself, I personally took issue with a few points. The main one being that in my opinion, it is not versatile enough. It only holds eight bottles of ingredients. My personal bar was bigger than that before I even turned 21. In terms of just syrups and mixers that is fairly lacking, let alone liqueurs, and assorted call brands. Do I expect a 20-inch cubic unit to have Campari or every flavor of vodka? No, I suppose that's unreasonable. I could see high volume places supplementing their production with machines like this, using smartphones and tablets to put in drink orders and automatically billing guests, but they would never fully replace a stocked bar and competent bartender.

The last thing I'd like to share is a lovely article featuring commentary by Isaac from The Love Boat. This article showcases a futuristic cruise ship being made today that will have a fully robotic bartender. There are robotic arms that can shake tins and serve drinks rather than having them come out of a tap. The Makr Shakr, I will admit, is pretty cool. I do, of course, hate plastic cups, but I suppose I wouldn't trust a robot that looks like it came straight from building a Mustang with crystal stemware. It does certainly have the potential to eventually make some incredibly impressive cocktails. utilizing various call brands, and possibly eventually making its own syrups, shrubs, and rapid infusions. A bit of programming and a few gadgets added to check sugar contests and acid levels and the like and a machine like this could create drinks that human beings couldn't compete with.

That said, bartenders do a lot more than make drinks. We are hosts. We cater everything to our guests. I've made a gin and tonic fifty different ways for different guests in different moods. I like being greeted in a bar by a warm smile, a hearty handshake, and a general sense of welcoming friend on the other side of the bar top. I tell jokes and stories, do flair and magic, and provide guidance and consolations to those that need it. I have quelled arguments and provided remedies for the sick. While the Monsieur can tell when you come home late and offer a double, or a celebration drink when your sports team wins. I may sound cocky, but bartending and customer service is a lot more than that.

“Let us remember that the automatic machine is the precise economic equivalent of slave labor. Any labor which competes with slave labor must accept the economic consequences of slave labor.”
- Norbert Wiener

Photo Credit: Pikist, Wikimedia

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Beginner's Flight: Whiskey

This is going to be a series of posts about how to start sampling different types of spirits if you are a beginner drinker. What's the difference between bourbon, scotch, and Irish whiskey. How is London dry gin different from American or Indian made gin? The best way to figure out what you like is to go out and try things. With so many options out there I thought it would be nice to give newbies a jumping-off point into their world of spirits. These will be fairly medium-priced spirits. I mean these lists to be accessible so probably nothing more than about $30 a bottle, that said, there's no reason for anyone to buy a $6 handle of Vlad vodka and drink it straight. First, I'm talking whiskey.

I think the ideal beginner's flight of whiskey should be one from around the globe. These are the staple whiskeys and they will give a well-rounded view as to the style of each region. When trying a whiskey sample it neat then try it again with a few drops of water added to it. This opens up the aroma and releases some of the oils that may have been hiding.

1. Makers Mark Bourbon. 
I describe this as a staple bourbon. They spell it "whisky" instead of "whiskey" because they feel it is of a caliber high enough to compete with any old world whisky. Made with corn is has a smooth sweetness to it. The bite is there, but it won't kill any rookie. This is great to sip or in any whiskey prominent cocktails, like Manhattans and Old Fashioneds.

2. Jameson Irish Whiskey. 
This Irish whiskey is known around the world. Jameson is always the starting drink of a night of binge drinking. Irish whiskey is commonly seen as the lightest style of whiskey because it really doesn't use any smoke in its process. College students regularly drink half a bottle of this or more by themselves in one night. Just remember, just because it flows down your throat like water does not mean that your body can handle it like water.

3. The Famous Grouse Scotch. 
Famous grouse is the highest-selling scotch of Scotland for the last 30+ years. It is a blend rather than a single malt, but it does an excellent job of conveying quality and authenticity. The whiskeys used in the blend come from Highland Park and Macallan, two very fine scotch brands. (Hi Jason, thanks again for all the tastings)

4. Bulleit Rye. 
Yes, another American company pops onto the list. I thought of doing a Canadian whiskey, but they tend to work in rye these days. Bulleit is 95% rye in the mash. Rye whiskeys are often seen to have a spicy flavor to them. not really a jalapeno spice, more of baking spice.
special mention to: Booker's bourbon, Jack Daniels, Crown Royal, Southern Comfort, and any and all moonshine

Aye, but today's rain is tomorrow's whiskey.
- Scottish Proverb

Photo Credit: Pixabay, wikimedia

Monday, November 3, 2014

Rum 101: What's the difference?

There is an amazing spectrum of rum out there today. From aged to spiced to flavored to over-proof and regional rums like Cachaça, it's hard to know what will best suit your cocktail creations.
There are a number of variables to keep in mind when choosing a rum. The main one I would argue is the age. Much like tequila, rum can be totally unaged or can be aged in barrels. Some rums are aged up to fifty years. The staple rum in America, Bacardi Superior is unaged, but even they have a whole line of aged rums. Aged rums tend to develop a slight caramel and vanilla flavor, like many whiskeys but tend not to have a smokey or burning finish. Many people actually enjoy sipping aged rums straight as well as in fine cocktails. 

Flavored rums have been gaining incredible popularity. The flavored rum that everyone is probably most familiar with is Captain Morgan. Captain Morgan is slightly aged, up to a year, and then is flavored with a secret blend of Caribbean spices. There are a number of other flavored rums as well. most of which done with a simple infusion process by soaking fruits and spices in the rum to impart their flavor into the spirit. Some flavored rums like Malibu are made by blending a light rum with a flavored liqueur. Sometimes this does lead the rum to become a liqueur depending on the final sugar content. Kahlua, for instance, uses a rum base. 

Different regions, of course, produce their own styles of rums as well. Rums are made everywhere, from Asia to Australia to Africa. The majority of rum is made in the Caribbean and Central America. Cachaça, Brazilian rum, is actually the national spirit of Brazil. It is made from the juice of the sugar cane and is typically unaged. Some rums use molasses while others use fresh sugar cane juice or syrup of the sugar cane. Each style and technique bringing a very different style of sweetness to the rum. 

Whatever style of rum you like best I encourage you to experiment and expand your palette. When I started drinking rum I was like most people, drinking a simple rum and coke, either with Bacardi or Captain Morgan. Then one day I had a Dark and Stormy. I immediately asked what rum they used as it wasn't very sweet or spicy. It was mature. These days I will sip on a glass of Appleton or Pyrat either neat or with ice. That said if someone wants to drink a Malibu Bay Breeze made extra sweet I will smile and make it, as it's exactly what they want at that moment in their life. 

"Is the glass half full or half empty? It depends on whether you're pouring or drinking."

Photo Credit: Px Fuel, wikimedia