Dissecting a cocktail: Sonic Screwdriver

The Sonic Screwdriver is an icon for fans of Doctor Who. It is the tool that works on everything, except wood. We all know the classic screwdriver. It's a simple highball of vodka and orange juice. Naturally, the adult nerdy community likes to have a drink when they watch their favorite show. Many people have created their own recipes based on their tastes and whose Sonic Screwdriver they prefer. Matt Smith's screwdriver would glow bright green while David Tennant's was blue. The War Doctor had his red Screwdriver and River Song had her special red setting. There are dozens if not hundreds of screwdriver variations out there. I've picked out a few favorites and thought I'd go through and give them a few reviews.

BBCA's Sonic Screwdriver Punch

3 cups orange juice, 3 pureed ripe peaches, 4-5 cups lemonade

Chill the juice, peach puree, and lemonade for at least 1-2 hrs before serving. Mix the juice and puree and pour over ice. Top with the lemonade. Garnish with a few mint leaves. 

This is an interesting little cocktail put out by BBC America. It's a non-alcoholic punch so it's good for kids to enjoy as well. For adults, it is an enjoyable drink but certainly not the most creative non-alcoholic punch I've ever seen. On the bright side, you can jazz it up with just about any fruit or berry flavored vodka. This is odd that it took the moniker of a sonic screwdriver though. BBCA can do whatever it likes, of course, but aside from having the orange juice this is nothing like a screwdriver or a sonic screwdriver. It lacks the color. I give it a 5/10. Try this with a mixed berry vodka and a sparkling lemonade. That could bring it up to a 7.

Nerds and Nomsense's Sonic Screwdriver

1 oz Blue Curacao, 2 oz Blood Orange Vodka, 3 oz OJ, splash Red Bull.

Shake the ingredients aside from the Red Bull with ice and strain into a martini or cocktail glass. Top with red bull. This makes two cocktails

According to the creator, this drink is meant to taste like gummi frogs. Fans of Doctor Who may remember gummi candies have played some significance, namely the jelly baby. They were featured with the Second Doctor and they've continued to be referenced all the way to the current, Twelfth Doctor. Even the Master offers a few to his wife as he was taking over the world. This drink is actually quite unique in that it doesn't take its style from the original screwdriver though it does use vodka and OJ. I regard this as a very good reference to nerdy culture and it pays homage to the fandom but as a cocktail I give it a 6/10. It's not the most original cocktail, the proportions and balance don't work for me as a proper sour or highball. The flavor is a mishmash of sweet, I don't see myself ever having more than one of these in an evening.  

Liz Mulhern's Companion drink

1/2 oz Vanilla Vodka, 1/2 oz Blue Curacao, 2 oz Sprite

Build on ice in a highball glass

The recipe keeps to the premise of the traditional screwdriver but uses Vanilla Vodka for sweetness, Blue Curacao for orange flavor, and sprite to help with citrus. I actually greatly respect this recipe. It keeps the vodka and orange citrus flavors while getting it just the right color and adding a unique vanilla flavor in combination with bubbles. It's a great re-imagining of the classic. I actually first had this with Pinnacle Whipped in place of vanilla vodka. My verdict for this drink is an 8/10. It is very tasty, original while holding to tradition, and very easy to make for the lay person. This is probably my top pick for a long DW marathon. Allons-y!

The Way Station's Sonic Screwdrivers
Absolut Citron, Orange Juice, with a different topper depending on the doctor

Pour vodka and OJ in a glass with ice. Top with Blue Curacao for a 10th Doctor, Midori for the 11th, and Grenadine for River's Red Setting

The Way Station is an oasis of a bar for nerds everywhere. Unfortunately, I was unable to discern their exact recipe or ration for these cocktails but as they tightly resemble the standard highball I recommend a ratio of 1 part Vodka to 2 parts Orange juice with about a half part of the topper. I do take some issue with the drinks though. The colors don't match up that well when mixed. The orange juice is just too strong a color. They taste very sweet, definitely a girly drink. They are fine drinks, but I regard them as a bit simple for a cocktail bar in New York City. That said, they're very good for home use. My verdict, 6/10, sweet and simple, in other words, uninspired, a good cocktail that anyone can make, but there's a lot more room for improvement. 

I have been made aware that The Way Station has since added a 9th and 12th doctor to their list of screwdrivers. The 9th uses Pimm's as a topper to the template above. The 12th actually impressed me. it's Dewars, Amaretto, bitters, and ginger ale. I actually like this balance for Peter Capaldi's Doctor. Scotch fits well and I love that they broke the template and completely redid the personality of the drink. 

Special Mention to Drunken Moogle's recipe.

Finding a Doctor Who quote about alcohol was actually pretty interesting as the early doctors swore that they didn't touch the stuff. Chris Eccleston changed that though.

"I'm telling you. Lloyd George, he used to drink me under the table. Who's the Prime Minister now?"
"How should I know? I missed a year."

Photo Credit: Wikimedia, pxfuel, Snappy Goat

Tools: Strainers

Strainers are a crucial tool for a bartender. They are really what give a drink it's texture. There are many ornate strainers made by beautiful artisans, but they all boil down to essentially three styles. Some may include slight variations such as prongs for balance or a more comfortable grip. Some even have the ability to strain into two glasses at once. For our purposes, there are really just three.

Julep

The julep strainer is designed exclusively to filter out large chunks of ice. It's a concave piece of metal with equally sized holes throughout. This allows liquid to flow through while restraining any large chunks of ice. They are designed specifically to fit the standard mixing or Boston glass. Tere is some debate as to how the julep strainer best meshes with the glass. Most people insert it with the bowl facing up as this tends to allow a slightly firmer grip on the handle butIt does allow very small chips of ice to flow through, but these melt almost immediately. The ideal time to use a julep strainer is when you are making a stirred cocktail. They are ideal for drinks that are made solely from spirits, like martinis. Julep strainers do not function very well at filtering out juice pulp or other particulates. 

Hawthorne

A Hawthorne strainer is probably the strainer that bartenders are most familiar with. Most are comprised of a flat piece of metal with holes and a handle. What makes it a Hawthorne strainer is the spring running around the edge of the bottom of the strainer. This enables the strainer to be adjustable and fit a variety of pouring vessels such as a mixing glass or beaker, a mixing tin, and a cheater tin. The spring also allows the strainer to be adjusted while sitting in the glass or tin. You can pull the strainer back to allow pulpy juices to flow through. You can also press it forward to force the liquid to flow through the spring and the flat metal piece filtering out much more dense pulp. Pretty much whenever you make a shaken cocktail, a Hawthorne strainer is the best strainer for the job.

Mesh

The fine mesh or tea strainer doesn't serve many functions on its own. It does serve an amazing job of supplementing the efforts of a Hawthorne strainer in filtering shaken drinks. Simply strain with a Hawthorne strainer and pour into the Mesh strainer over the glass. some bartenders can even do this all one-handed, gripping the mesh strainer with their thumb and holding the tin and Hawthorne with their whole hand. The fine mesh filters out even the smallest ice chips and bits of pulp. It also helps further aerate a cocktail after being shaken. A mesh strainer does get clogged however especially when dealing with pulp. Often times it will be necessary to tap the mesh strainer to get the last bits of the cocktail through the mesh.

“Alcohol lowered inhibitions. It didn't create impulses that weren't there.”
- Chelsea Scott

Photo Credit: wikimedia

April Fools: Weird Joke Shots

These shots are not meant to be taken by you, okay. They are meant to be served to your stupid friends. That said, everybody has their own tastes. Once in a while you may just get a taste for a whole raw egg in your drink.

Cement Mixer
1 shot Bailey's, 1 shot rose's lime juice

Pour the shots into two separate glasses

This shot is like a baking soda vinegar volcano from grade school, except in your mouth. The cream base of baileys reacts poorly to the citrus of the lime juice. The way you drink this shot is to drink one shot but hold it in your mouth and then take the second shot. You swish the two together in your mouth. As they mix, they curdle. It turns chunky in your mouth and tastes of spoiled milk. Most people will just spit this right out if they're not sure what to expect. 

Prairie Oyster
1 1/2 oz bourbon, 1 egg, 1 dash Tobasco

Pour the bourbon into a rocks glass without ice. Crack the egg into the glass. Add a dash or two of Tabasco. Sprinkle a little salt and pepper for good measure.

This is a pretty weird one. There are many variants to this as well. Some don't use and liquor and others add Worcestershire sauce. A prairie oyster was slang for a fried bull testicle. This still exists on some menus as an appetizer. Raw egg bothers some people, others are fine with it. Many people will actually take this shot as a hangover cure.

Soy Sauce

1 part Jagermeister, 1 part Everclear or devils springs 

Swirl the ingredients in a tin with ice, strain into a shot or rocks glass. Or serve it in a novelty syringe

This was created by a dear friend of mine Shane. This really is not a shot for the faint of heart. It is crazy high proof and if you don't like Jager, you're screwed. Shane made this as a combination of two of his favorite things and we named it out of a reference to one of his and now my favorite books, John Dies at the End. In JDatE, there is a drug called the sauce. whose effects aren't entirely known, but whose side effects are quite interesting. It be opening doors to another world, man. This was a few friends' first drink at lousy parties. They'd take this and it would kill their taste buds so they could down jungle juice and cheap beer all night. Oh, please drink responsibly.

The Sourtoe Cocktail

1 large shot of anything, garnish with a toe

Pour the shot, throw in the toe

Drink it fast, drink it slow, but the lips have to touch the toe. This started in a little hotel bar in Alaska. It started as a variant of serving an oyster in champagne, only instead of an oyster, it was a severed human toe that was dehydrated in salt. These days it is no longer served in a beer mug full of champagne. It's served in a shot glass with whatever liquor you'd like. Good luck finding a severed human toe at your neighborhood bar though. 

Special mention to: The Ogre Killer, The New Jersey Turnpike, Smoker's Cough, The Cheese Shot, Tidal Wave, Motor Oil

Photo Credit: Wikimedia, Food Facts

Maestro de Coco

A silky sensual mix of aged dry rum, coconut, ginger, and citrus notes. A fun blend of a tropical favorite and a New Orleans classic. This is a cocktail I created for the Brugal Battle competition. It is a small competition but it is for a good cause. The competition is partly vote based. For each vote in the Philadelphia competition, 10 cents is donated to Philabundance. They are a wonderful charity that feeds approximately 75,000 people every week. Please vote for me by texting "brugal016" to 34681.

1.5 oz. Brugal Extra Dry Rum

0.5 oz Domaine de Canton
1 oz Cream of Coconut
0.75 oz Lime Juice
0.25 oz Pineapple juice
White of one egg

Top with club soda

Dry shake all the ingredients except the club soda for about one minute. Hard shake with ice for another minute and double strain into a collins glass. Top with about an ounce of Club Soda. Garnish with a pinch of fresh grated nutmeg.

This drink took a lot of inspiration from the flavors of the rum. Coconut and vanilla came to mind and I brought them out with the Cream of coconut and a bit of pineapple. I also stressed the dryness of the drink with a bit of ginger. I tied it all together with a bit of lime and egg white for texture. The dryness certainly comes through, but you also pick up notes of vanilla and coconut. The style takes a lot from a proper fizz recipe, much like the Ramos Gin Fizz. Out of some happy coincidence, it bears a great similarity to the Pina Colada.

UPDATE: Due to lack of entrants in the Philadelphia region the competition has been canceled. A donation will still be made to Philabundance. I encourage you all to donate to the cause and, of course, support your local bartender. 

Vodka 301: Let's try some Vodka Cocktails!

Vodka, it pays the bills. Bartenders pour it chilled as shots or martinis. We'll serve it warm with rye or pumpernickel bread to sniff and pickles to eat. Some of you may have seen this, either in House of Cards or another medium. Russians would drink vodka in a way even more bizarre than how people would drink tequila. Give it a try sometime; you get a bit loopy. Eat some oily food, clink your glasses, empty your lungs, do the shot as you breathe in, smell the rye or your armpit, eat your pickle, laugh loudly, wait five minutes and repeat. Na Zdorovie!

Cosmopolitan
1 1/2 oz. Vodka. 1/2 oz. Cointreau, 1 oz. Cranberry, 1/4 oz Lime

Add the ingredients to a cocktail shaker with ice and shake until well chilled. Strain into a chilled cocktail glass and garnish with an orange twist or lime slice.

While I'm not personally a fan of Sex and the City, there's no denying the popularity of this drink. It seems to have come about in the '70s in the gay neighborhoods of Provincetown Massachusetts. At the time, it was not exactly the symbol of class and elegance it is today. Don't get me wrong, Provincetown is beautiful and the people are very friendly. But gay bars in the '70s were not exactly brimming with fresh juices and premium spirits. It was arguably Dale Degroff who revitalized the cocktail at the Rainbow Room in New York City. Madonna was photographed with the cocktail and it's been a staple cocktail in a bartender's repertoire. Sex in the City certainly also boosted the popularity of this drink among the national population. 

Vesper
3 oz. Gin, 1 oz. Vodka, 1/2 oz Lillet Blanc

Add the ingredients to a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake it until it's ice cold. Strain into a champagne coupe. Garnish with a large slice of lemon peel. Got it?

As many of you probably know this is the drink that James Bond ordered in Casino Royale. It is certainly a bit dominant on the gin side, but it is a classic spin on the martini. There's a lot of speculation as to why the drink was ordered this way. "Just a moment. Three measures of Gordon's, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it very well until it's ice-cold, then add a large thin slice of lemon peel. Got it?" James bond is a man who knows what he wants. He said he only drinks one drink before dinner, but he likes it large, strong, cold, and well made. Sean Connery adapted this to be a vodka martini shaken not stirred. 

Moscow Mule
2 oz. Vodka, 1/2oz fresh lime juice, 3 oz. Ginger Beer

Add the ingredients to a copper mug with ice. Garnish with a lime wedge.

This drink was created in 1941 in Los Angeles by a partnership between a ginger beer producer, Cock 'n' Bull, and a liquor distributor trying to popularize vodka in America as it had just been introduced to the United States after World War 2. In the fifties, there was a massive vodka craze. Prohibition ended not twenty years before and world war 2 less than a decade. People liked the easily mixable liquor and started mixing it with virtually everything. Smirnoff claims to be the original vodka for a Moscow Mule. They actually host a competition as to who can redesign the Moscow Mule every year. 

White Russian
1 1/2 oz. Vodka, 3/4 oz. Kahlua, 3/4 oz. Cream

Add the vodka and Kahlua to a rocks glass with ice. Gently float some cream on top and stir lightly with a sip stick.

The Dude abides. This drink came about in the '60s as a simple variation to the Black Russian. a white Russian is just a black Russian with the addition of cream. The drink really has nothing to do with Russia aside from the fact that the dominant ingredient is vodka. In the classic 1998 cult comedy film The Big Lebowski, the lead character, The Dude as played by Jeff Bridges, drinks White Russians. The fan base of the film is truly devoted so much so that they have even created a religion, Dudism, with 200,000 ordained Dudist priests. Given the devotion of the fan base, it's natural that The Dude's signature drink be given a rise in popularity. 

Special mention to: appletini, sex on the beach, martini, screwdriver, vodka collins, bloody mary

"If you want to be happy, be."
Leo Tolstoy

Photo Credit: Wikimedia, pixabay

Sparkling wine cocktails

Sparkling wine has been used in cocktails for well over 150 years. The first reference I know of comes from 1862 in the Bon Vivant's Companion. Though sparkling wines are nearly 500 years old, possibly older if you account for the Chinese, they weren't really mixed. Bubbles were and are a sign of freshness and quality. They still are in many countries, especially in Europe. Flat water really doesn't exist for consumption. Everything is bubbly, even the apple juice. Bubbles mean it's clean and healthy. Healthy doesn't mean it's no fun though.

Champagne Cocktail
Sugar cube, bitters, champagne

Place a sugar cube on a cocktail napkin. Soak the cube in bitters until it is fully colored and is spilling over onto the napkin. Place the soaked cube in a champagne flute and fill with Champagne. Garnish with a lemon twist

The champagne cocktail is, of course, following in the tradition of what a cocktail originally was. The original whiskey cocktail was just whiskey, sugar, and bitters. It has since been dubbed the Old Fashioned. But there were a number of cocktails: the brandy cocktail, gin cocktail, and our Champagne cocktail. Fortunately, this cocktail has held the test of time. This cocktail can be made with simple syrup and a few dashes of bitters, but it's not that elegant a presentation. With a nice course cube sitting at the bottom of a cocktail you get the bubbles flowing forth from every bump. The original is also said to include 1/3 oz. of brandy.

French 75
1oz Gin, 1/2oz Simple Syrup, 1/2oz Lemon, 3oz Champagne

Add the first three ingredients to a shaker with ice. Shake until well chilled and strain into a champagne glass. Fill with the remaining champagne. Garnish with a lemon twist.

This drink is named after the famous artillery piece. The cannon was called by some the first piece of modern artillery. It was invented at the end of the 19th century and could fire 15 rounds a minute up to five miles away. The drink was created in 1915 in Paris by the great Harry MacElhone. The drink was said to have such a kick it felt like you'd been hit by a shell from the cannon. Some people equate this to a scaled Tom Collins with the soda substituted for sparkling wine, typically champagne. I find that is a pretty apt description though these days many people use smaller proportions for the first three ingredients allowing the wine to shine through a bit more rather than the lemon and sugar. 

Mimosa
2 1/2 Orange Juice, 2 1/2 Sparkling Wine

Both ingredients should be kept chilled during storage. Simply mix equal parts orange juice and sparkling wine into a champagne flute and serve. Garnish with an optional quarter slice of orange or a strawberry. 

This has become the quintessential brunch drink. Sparkling wine and citrus play very nicely together. orange juice has simply been jazzed up a bit. do be sure not to use a very pulpy orange juice as that can create a very off texture for your guests. This drink is naturally not too strong; it's effectively a half glass of wine. Some people stiffen it up a bit by adding a half show of Cointreau which doesn't dramatically change the flavor but certainly adds a bit more kick. A more common variation is known as the Grand Mimosa. This is a mimosa with a half ounce of Grand Marnier floated on top. The orange flavors go well together, and the french made cognac in the Grand Marnier pairs with a french made sparkling wine, namely Champagne. 

Aperol  Spritz
3 oz. Prosecco, 1 oz. Soda, 1 oz. Aperol

Fill a white wine glass about 3/4 full with ice. Add the ingredients and throw in a slice or two of orange for good measure. 

This is a fun little number and an amazing summertime drink. It's similar to a sparkling sangria with a light bitter note. This is actually one of the only standard recipes I know that uses ice in a wine glass or with wine at all for that matter. This drink can be made with many other liqueurs in place of Aperol, such as St Germain, Hum, Midori, or even an amaretto. I find that Aperol has a light enough flavor to not dominate the drink and let the wine shine just enough. It also has a beautiful color and the orange note just makes it so much more summer.

Special mention to: Kir Royale, Bellini, Death in the Afternoon

Photo Credit: Pikrepo, Wikimedia, pixabay

Stereotyping a Cocktail

I've seen many posts as to how what you order makes you look a certain way. Like how Appletinis and Jack and Cokes make you seem amateurish, or Jager and Red Bull makes you seem jockish. People drinking Long Island Iced Teas want to get drunk. I'm curious what you as a person dictates about your drink.

Before I get into this article I would like to say that I don't regard myself as a hateful person, nor do I believe that a stereotype can be truly accurate. I acknowledge that every person falls on a spectrum not necessarily a category. That being said, bartenders often make assumptions about guests as to what they like. We, of course, take whatever information we can from dialogue with our customers but other information is acquired based on things like, their mood, how well they dress, any accent they might have, their gender, and even their race. Some might summarize it in less specific terms like aura, energy, presence, je ne sais quoi, using their intuition, or some other politically correct term. I think it's time to talk about some of these things though. Yes, the world is a melting pot and many of these stereotypes may be becoming less and less accurate but they're still there. 

Women like cosmopolitans. Black people like Hennessy. Rednecks like cheap macro beer. 

Girls don't like whiskey. Men shouldn't be seen with fruity drinks in a bar. and so on.

I know an exception to every statement I just wrote, but they are still commonly believed.

Some craft bartenders I know try to make a drink that everyone in the world can enjoy, and that is something to strive for. But there are some amazing cocktails throughout the years that clearly fit a niche market. I have never in my life met a 22-year-old woman who drinks a rusty nail. Nor have I met a 70-year-old man who would drink a fuzzy navel. Sometimes drinks are made for a certain personality. The best drink I ever had was one that was made for me. The person sitting next to me's favorite drink would be different. Every drink recipe I know I tailor to my guest, a splash more of this, double the whiskey in that for him, a little champagne on top for her.

Now bartenders, of course, use a bit of stereotyping and abductive reasoning. Women tend toward fruitier lighter drinks, along with a more colorful palette. Most men like to be seen as men, so they drink harder spirits, whiskeys and they like and don't mind a dirty brown color to their drink. Any fruit is meant for the women. Younger, light-hearted women tend to take the lighter spirits with the fruit juices. These are drinks like Fuzzy Navels, Sex on the Beaches, Malibu Bay Breezes, and shots like the Silk Panties. More mature discerning women might go to a cosmopolitan, pomegranate martini, or have learned a taste in wine but still like lighter drinks than the opposite sex. Young men will drink Jack or Captain and Coke or stick to beer. Men who don't look like they're out at the bar for a party often stick to harder spirits like neat whiskey and martinis. Perhaps it's that the selecting sex that gets to drink whatever cocktails they want. Maybe drinking scotch at a bar has become a style of our mating dance. It may as well be noted that the rise of the feminist movement has also shown a rise in whiskey sales as well. Women are getting tired of drinks that infantilize them.

Wallet size is often correlated with beer knowledge. Young cheap people drink domestic hop water. Someone who asks for a Belgian Style IPA tends to be a bit more world traveled. Different classes also have some drinks commonly associated with their culture. In more "urban settings" (you know what I mean) people, mainly men, tend to like drinks that show off in some way. Expensive products talked about in rap music tend to appeal, as do some drinks that make you seem bad-ass, like a shot of flaming 151. In fact, many people actually credit rap music to saving the cognac industry. The gaudy approach is intended to draw attention and admiration from those around you rather than actually be of quality. A corollary could be drawn from a similar desire to wear large ostentatious jewelry. The nightclub scene, dive bar scene and craft cocktail scene are all very different of course.

There's a common practice among bars with experienced bartenders to have a "bartender's choice" on the menu. It's very hard to guess what a person wants besides what you can see. If you are self-conscious that you don't want to have people make an assumption about you or be pigeonholed, you might be best skipping this option. That said most bartenders are very good at it. Some bartenders can tell just by a person's hands things like what type of occupation they have, how long their workday was, and things like how much time they spend on personal appearance. That information is usually accurate and tells a bartender a lot about what kind of drink a guest might like. A bartender's ability to read a person's desires with as few words exchanged as possible is a skill in itself. It's truly impressive at times, and I find it fun to see what people think of me. 

I want to hear what you all have to say about this. 

What assumptions do you make about what cocktails your guests might like?

Photo Credit: Pikist