Greatest Bar Conversation I've Ever Seen (NSFW)

Bars and pubs were originally almost a sort of town hall. There are many tales of the founding fathers of America planning the revolution and writing the documents we read about in grade school. Bars for most people these days are a means of cutting loose, possibly venting your problems, and having a laugh.

If you work in this industry long enough in front of the house you hear a lot of interesting conversations. I've seen first dates crash and burn. I've heard lawyers give counsel to clients. I've heard businessmen negotiate deals and a couple politicians talking shop. There have been many rousing debates ranging from "Who was the star of that movie?" to far more serious matters. There was one conversation I partook in the other day that I believe takes the cake in terms of the greatest bar conversation.

What is the best food to eat while receiving oral sex?

I can't exactly remember how this conversation wound up to its final point of debate. I know it started with the idea of the greatest sensation a person can experience, or more sensations experienced simultaneously.

There is a great comedian by the name of Dylan Moran who I've referenced a few times in my blog. He was on stage one night said, "I know you people really want. I know what everybody wants. You're thinking 'I want to be laying down on a cushion, with my mouth full of chocolate, and something lovely happening to my lower half.' that's all you want."

A more commonplace idea I hear discussed is the idea of a "Shower Beer". This is a fabulous thing which I've partaken in many times. The hot with the cold, the relaxation, it's grand. But then the idea of "Shower Beer and a Blowjob" came around. A truly epic idea, which I may or may not have experienced. This was the case at the particular bar I was in one fortunate evening. The bartender said that she was partial to cheese fries and cunnilingus, perhaps the most modern American sentence of all time.

The debate raged with a few common agreements being made. Nothing using utensils where you had to cut the food up, or anything being excessively spicy need be considered. Various styles of pizza were a favorite. The joke of 69ing was of course made. But the idea really does sort of circle around the ego boost of the activities. You're feeling like king or queen of the world, like the great caesar being fed grapes by a concubine. Sushi was popular for a few people.

A few people went the desert route with ice cream sandwiches or chocolate-covered strawberries. Someone just said a milkshake. One particularly interesting person said fondue. With cheese, we circled back around to savory. Peanut butter and jelly, lobster Mac'n'cheese bacon-wrapped shrimp, ribs, wings. I personally think wings would be too much of a distraction. Gummi bears were well received. But a favorite was fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies.

What's your answer?

What's the best discussion you've ever overheard?

Photo Credit: pxhere, pixabay

Vodka 401: Evolution of a Cocktail: The Cosmopolitan

The Cosmopolitan has a crazy history building up to the drink we know today.

The Cape Codder could be called a jumping off point for the Cosmopolitan. The Cape Codder was just a highball with vodka and cranberry with a lime wedge. It was made in 1945 as a promotion for Ocean Spray cranberry juice. The elements are clearly there for a Cosmo to come about, but the style still had a way to go.

The Harpoon seems to be the successor of the Cape Codder and a precursor to the Cosmopolitan. Some served it as a highball but for many it was 1 1/2 oz. Russian Vodka, 2 oz. Cranberry Juice, 1/4 oz. Lime Juice, and was shaken and served in a cocktail glass. The Harpoon was one of the first serious American vodka cocktails. Vodka really didn't start coming over to the States until the forties, after The Second World War. The Harpoon was first made in the 60's. You can see by the recipe, it's 3 out of 4 of the ingredients of a staple Cosmo. It's certainly a lot tarter and less sweet. But the style is there. The drink is shaken with the fresh lime juice so it has that presentation. the slightly opaque pink hue in a sexy glass. And that's really what the Cosmopolitan really is, it's an icon.

The Kamikaze is another drink that's sort of three-quarters the way to the modern Cosmo. It's vodka, triple sec, and lime. Throw in a little cranberry and there you have it. The Kamikaze has been served all sorts of ways, up, on the rocks, and namely as a shot these days. Neal Murray is one of many to claim to have invented the Cosmopolitan. He reportedly added some cranberry to a Kamikaze and one of his customers remarked, "How Cosmopolitan." This was back in '75. 

The exact origins of the cosmopolitan, as we know it, are a bit up to speculation. A drink named the cosmopolitan did exist in the 1930's, but it used gin, Cointreau, lemon juice, and raspberry syrup. The base Cosmo as we know it probably came around in the mid to late 70's. There are numerous claims as to who first made it up. Toby Cecchini might have made up the current recipe at the Odeon in '88. The cosmopolitan with flavored vodka came about when Absolut was testing out Citron in Miami and a bartender by the name of Cheryl Cook in the mid-80's. Another story of its origin comes from Miami, this one from 1989 again as a plug for Absolut. There are also numerous murmurs of it being created in the 70's by the gay community in Provincetown Massachusetts, coincidentally where I used to vacation every summer, and probably spread to San Francisco or vice versa. Reportedly, however, the Cosmo of the gay bars was a ghastly drink with well vodka and Rose's lime and grenadine. In its later iterations, it began using fresh juice and more premium ingredients. 

I pay much respect to Dale Degroff, aka King Cocktail, for breathing new life into this classic cocktail, though he was certainly not its true inventor. He was the owner of Rainbow Room in New York atop Rockefeller Center. His recipe is 1 1/2 oz Citrus Vodka (Ketel One Citroen or Absolut Citron), 3/4 oz Cointreau, 1 oz cranberry juice, 1/4 oz fresh lime juice. I like the use of fresh lime juice rather than Rose's. This makes the drink a gorgeous opaque pink. If you think of a Cosmo as a sweet transparent red drink, you've not had a fresh one. The true flair he added was the garnish, a flamed orange peel. That sharp burst of fire drew quite a crowd. Even Madonna was photographed drinking it which spread the word of the drink around the world and probably led to it being featured on Sex and the City where is got a second burst of popularity. 

Miranda Hobbes: [at a bar, drinking Cosmopolitans] "Why did we ever stop drinking these?"

Carrie Bradshaw: "Because everyone else started!"

Photo Credit: Wikimedia